we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
