Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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