Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
