I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize