Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
