This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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