a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
