so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
