Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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