Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
