Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
