Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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