y did u give ur computer a hand job?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
