If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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