Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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