that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
