Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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