why didn't you poke me back
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize