right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
