if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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