I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
