So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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