This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize