I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
