the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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