he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
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