Acid is not a monday night drug
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
