So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
