Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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