Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
