he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
