The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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