She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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