If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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