Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
