Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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