"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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