Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
