Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize