I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
