she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
