He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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