I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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