I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
