No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
