he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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