im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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