who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My friends, they love my intelligence
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
