Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
