This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
