Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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