Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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