Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
